Are you getting everything you can out of this life?
A self-less, feel-good blog about love, life, and work by career coach and existential adventurer, Cliff Flamer
I’ve always had trouble saying I love you.
It was a thing with girlfriends: me not being able to say it.
I don’t think I’m alone in this.
We can write it down well, we send shiny red hearts over the Internet, we drop it into the end of a p… Read more...
When we challenge someone’s core beliefs — their religion, their politics (which are often one and the same) — we threaten their worldview.
Our comments cut the line to their anchor.
And, somehow, we expect them to thank us for this.
No one wants to drift into the … Read more...
I often wonder how I got with my wife.
We’re super compatible in so many ways.
And yet, I must admit, I originally noticed her at that barbecue
because she was hot.
Well, maybe there was more to it.
She wore blue jeans not a skirt.
Boots not heels.
She was working the room (or th… Read more...
It’s okay that you’re tired at the end of the day.
You’ve worked hard. It takes a lot. Mentally. Physically.
You’re human!
Up and down is our way forward.
Just because you’re tired, doesn’t mean you have to rethink your life.
Instead, when you recog… Read more...
We walk the earth carrying our thoughts, a heavy load for a single person. These thoughts become laws. They become a rock-hard truths, stories of stone.
And we may use these stones to step on, to enable us to reach higher – this is a good thing – it’s why we carr… Read more...
The problem with Self Help is that it presupposes there is something wrong with the way you are now.
But fully embracing your current state, whatever that may be, can prevent meaningful growth and change.
Take the simple example of lying on the couch. When you resent yourself for l… Read more...
Us older folks have the advantage in life:
We’re closer to death.
Nothing creates a desire to live fully like Fear of Death. You can ponder this idea in your younger years but until you circle the sun enough to feel it in your body, Fear of Death can’t go to work for yo… Read more...
The headline in my news feed today read: “Best & Worst Moments of the 2020 Music Awards.”
I admit, I was tempted to click on it, but then I had a realization that this headline is what is destroying us.
Sadly, this is all we get now: the best and the worst of everyt… Read more...
My friend, Paul, complimented me the other day. It was hot. I had my shirt off.
“Cliff, your body is looking GOOD!”
He said it just like that, too: big emphasis on the “good” part.
And it definitely sunk in because, after that, I started eating salads again a… Read more...
Bukowski, one of the most widely read poets in the world, a craftsman of language, left behind only two words on his tombstone: “Don’t try.”
I got this same advice from my creative writing teacher (who has also passed): “Stop trying so hard, Cliff!”
I … Read more...