My Daughter Is A Disco Yeti

It’s Celebrity Day at school and, when so many kids look to pop stars for inspiration, my oldest daughter decided to wrap herself up in a white faux fur poncho and call herself a yeti, technically the Disco Yeti from Disney’s Expedition Everest roller coaster attraction.

Crazy girl.

It reminds me of the time I wore my grandma’s clip-on earrings to school in fifth grade. It wasn’t premeditated. I just saw them there laying on the back of the sink and clipped them on my ears. They were green and blue costume jewelry in the design of a flower. I sneaked out the door before my mom could see.

I don’t remember anyone’s reaction except for my fifth grade teacher, Mr. Lausten, notoriously the meanest teacher in the school who seemed to actually enjoy humiliating students. He called me to front of the class, his room was the only one with carpet, which made it hard to pull out your chair. When I reached him, his face scrunched up like he had just eaten something that made his stomach turn.

“Flamer,” he bellowed. “What the heck are you doing?”

He wasn’t angry. He wasn’t mightily clever like he usually was when destroying a student for entertainment. He seemed genuinely confused and scared, as if I had worn a completely different face to school, as if I’d grown 10 inches. I’d never seen that expression on him. I was kind of proud to put it there, like pushing him off balance with a new set of tools I didn’t know I had.

“Off. Now.” he said, with his palm turned up.

I’m not sure why clip-on earrings would prevent me from being able to learn Geography.

He gave them back to me after class and I wore them for the rest of the day. At least I imagine I did. I didn’t wear them to school again but not because of Mr. Lausten, because they gave me a headache (much like the large gold Queen Nefertiti hoop earrings I would wear 5 years later in high school).

So the yeti outfit doesn’t bother me. Looks like my daughter has a little bit of the ol‘ “Fresh Flame” in her.

I wonder what the faces will say to her. I wonder what she’ll discover in her toolkit.

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