I ran into one of the girls I coach in soccer. We’ll call her Sachi. It was off season and we hadn’t had practice in months, so we were both sort of openly delighted to see each other.
She was with a friend.
Sachi introduced me as her soccer coach, which made me feel all warm inside. Then she exclaimed to her friend, busy doing cartwheels, “You should play on my team.”
The friend stood up, wiped her hands on her pants and said.
(And, mind you this is a 9-year old.)
“Sorry. I’m already overscheduled. I have ballet on Monday and Thursday, basketball Tuesday, and a Computer Engineering class on the weekend. Oh, and I practice piano afterschool on Wednesdays, Fridays, and… sometimes on Sunday.”
Whoa.
That’s one ambitous girl.
Actually, she’s not much different than every other kid I know, including my own.
Our kids are doing soooo much!
All I remember as a kid is runnning around in my backyard, playing kickball in the driveway, playing “guns” in the woods, catching craw-daddies in apple juice bottles.
Okay, I played soccer but that was it.
These kids got everything going on.
I suppose it’s our “fault” as parents. Our kids overscheduling is a result of us trying to figure out, in a heated frenzy of afterschool programs and summer camps, what their thing is.
We want our kid to have a thing — a go-to activity that they’re good at, that serves them like a loyal friend, carrying them through high school, college, and beyond.
And to get there, they have to try stuff.
And these leagues and camps and enrichment programs have proliferated into every crevice of free time surrounding school.
The result? A 9-year-old girl who politely declines a soccer invite from her friend.
I talked to Sachi a little longer — the usual stuff: can’t wait to see you in a week, you been practicing? Did you know, we got Alice back, I’m lucky to have you as my center midfielder…
And then I walked away, so I could get back to my group and they could get back to cartwheels in front of the pizza place.
And that eased my thinking mind.
Gotta make time for what’s important.
But you gotta leave space for cartwheels too.