Are you getting everything you can out of this life?
A self-less, feel-good blog about love, life, and work by career coach and existential adventurer, Cliff Flamer
Us older folks have the advantage in life:
We’re closer to death.
Nothing creates a desire to live fully like Fear of Death. You can ponder this idea in your younger years but until you circle the sun enough to feel it in your body, Fear of Death can’t go to work for yo… Read more...
I’ve always felt that someone is watching me, particularly in times of great decisions, not necessarily life decisions, just those little moments of personal risk when the ego is worried about its edges.
Jumping off a cliff
Dancing at a wedding
Playing on a playground
Speaking … Read more...
The headline in my news feed today read: “Best & Worst Moments of the 2020 Music Awards.”
I admit, I was tempted to click on it, but then I had a realization that this headline is what is destroying us.
Sadly, this is all we get now: the best and the worst of everyt… Read more...
I wake up with my throat on fire, my body and eyelids heavy.
My phone beeps with bad news, it’s still dark outside, exhaustion balled up in my chest like compacted cement, layers formed across months.
I get up only because I know it will be harder if I don’t.
So heavy, s… Read more...
You’ve been diving in the same place for a while now.
With time, you’ve collected the prettiest of all the rocks. You keep them underwater because you don’t like how they look above the surface.
Your rock pile.
Each day, when you submerge, you notice (and have come… Read more...
My friend, Paul, complimented me the other day. It was hot. I had my shirt off.
“Cliff, your body is looking GOOD!”
He said it just like that, too: big emphasis on the “good” part.
And it definitely sunk in because, after that, I started eating salads again a… Read more...
You may not realize this:
When I fight, I’m fighting for you.
When I shout Black Lives Matter, it’s not because I think Black Lives are more important than White ones. It’s because I believe most of the problems in this country, problems that negatively impact you… Read more...
Bukowski, one of the most widely read poets in the world, a craftsman of language, left behind only two words on his tombstone: “Don’t try.”
I got this same advice from my creative writing teacher (who has also passed): “Stop trying so hard, Cliff!”
I … Read more...
I’m the hero of my dreams.
I’m talking about anxiety dreams, the ones we all have and talk about in the waking world. You know the ones…
The naked-in-public dream: I beat that one by giving up the search for clothes and just being naked. Fuck it. I even started to… Read more...
My daughter is picking her high school – 2 good options – and she’s tormented by it.
We all are.
I’ve made a career out of helping people make decisions. I know the exercises, I have the tactics, the methods, the rubrics.
That doesn’t make the actual de… Read more...