Cross-Examined

Judge signing on the papers

Years ago, I was in court testifying for a friend, and the defense attorney was doing his thing: trying like hell to discredit me. (Good luck with that, bruh.)

“So you’re saying you drank some beer and smoked a few bowls.”

He said this in a lazy faux-SoCal sort of… Read more...

Utter Joy

Green grass field under white clouds

What else can you call it?

Hazel’s been lucky enough to have after-school care by Temescal Lake, a modest lake with a beach and trees all around. Her child care program meets in a raised meadow that overlooks the lake.

It’s right next to a freeway, but you can’t s… Read more...

The Wakeups

Morning Sunrise Over the Mountain

I tend to wake up with a song in my head. Usually a pop song. Not a slow one, a fast one usually. I bop my head to it while I go to the bathroom.

I wonder what it’d be like to sing it out loud. I’m thinking it would perfect, like filling a glass of fruit punch all the … Read more...

Slow Talker

close-up photography of human feet on brown sand during daytime

An ex-girlfriend once said to me that my voice makes her want to lie down.

(I guess that can be taken several ways.)

From what I can tell, she meant my voice relaxes her.

Total compliment.

But there are drawbacks to eliciting relaxation. I notice sometimes when I talk to people, they… Read more...

Until His Shoes Melted

Man crossing on pedestrian lane

My friend has this great story.

One day he woke up and decided he wanted to go to the beach. The only issue is he had no money and no car and he lived in Pasadena. That’s about 20 miles away.

But he was feeling stagnant so he packed up 6 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and… Read more...

Waterslides

multicolored slide at daytime

Since roller coasters aren’t an option anymore due to my proclivity for dizziness (sob), I went to the water park with my daughter, instead.

We hit the Big Kahuna, The Typhoon Lagoon, and the wave pool.

But it was 70 degrees, not nearly warm enough for a water park. Even a la… Read more...

The Troll Game

Attentive boy sitting on bed and playing card game at home

I agreed to play 30 consecutive games of Castle Mania with Hazel, or “The Troll Game” as we call it. (She had advocated for 50 games but I talked her down.)

Castle Mania is a simple but surprisingly suspenseful card game where you team up with each other to prevent a p… Read more...