Are you getting everything you can out of this life?
An insightful, feel-good blog about work, life, and the elusive balance between the two, by career counselor, award-winning resume writer, and existential adventurer, Cliff Flamer
I often wonder how I got with my wife.
We’re super compatible in so many ways.
And yet, I must admit, I originally noticed her at that barbecue
because she was hot.
Well, maybe there was more to it.
She wore blue jeans not a skirt.
Boots not heels.
She was working the room (or th… Read more...
Humans are strange. Our way of dealing with stress is to summon more of it.
When we’re caught in a tough situation or we get a cold or our luck is different than usual, we tend to say something like:
“This kind of stuff doesn’t happen to me…”
“I&#… Read more...
Us older folks have the advantage in life:
We’re closer to death.
Nothing creates a desire to live fully like Fear of Death. You can ponder this idea in your younger years but until you circle the sun enough to feel it in your body, Fear of Death can’t go to work for yo… Read more...
I wake up with my throat on fire, my body and eyelids heavy.
My phone beeps with bad news, it’s still dark outside, exhaustion balled up in my chest like compacted cement, layers formed across months.
I get up only because I know it will be harder if I don’t.
So heavy, s… Read more...
You’ve been diving in the same place for a while now.
With time, you’ve collected the prettiest of all the rocks. You keep them underwater because you don’t like how they look above the surface.
Your rock pile.
Each day, when you submerge, you notice (and have come… Read more...
I’m the hero of my dreams.
I’m talking about anxiety dreams, the ones we all have and talk about in the waking world. You know the ones…
The naked-in-public dream: I beat that one by giving up the search for clothes and just being naked. Fuck it. I even started to… Read more...
When I was in high school I got my heart broken and I listened to Every Rose Has Its Thorn ad nausum for 3 days straight.
It was a dark time. Literally. I covered my walls in black satin and traded in soft white light bulbs for red floodlights. Total fire hazard, but who really ca… Read more...
It took a while, but it came.
I thought I was immune, but no one is.
There is a tree with thick, knuckly roots driving into the soft green earth. Its branches do all sorts of interesting things: hold nests and tire swings, block the hot sun, reach into other trees, click against on… Read more...
Riots are not the problem.
In Family Therapy, the person who acts out — the cheating husband, the depressed wife, the son who threw a brick through the neighbor’s car window — this person is not to be vilified, not to be punished. Quite the opposite, actually.
If … Read more...
When you’re feeling positive, it can seem like the world is more negative. You notice all the negative things people say, about themselves and about each other.
People don’t mean to be mean; it’s usually just a habit, conditioned by the generally accepted grievan… Read more...