Lying Down & Getting Up

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The problem with Self Help is that it presupposes there is something wrong with the way you are now.

But fully embracing your current state, whatever that may be, can prevent meaningful growth and change.

Take the simple example of lying on the couch. When you resent yourself for l… Read more...

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The Quiet Coach

Man sitting on rock during golden hour

I’ve always felt that someone is watching me, particularly in times of great decisions, not necessarily life decisions, just those little moments of personal risk when the ego is worried about its edges.

Jumping off a cliff
Dancing at a wedding
Playing on a playground
Speaking … Read more...

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Swimming with Rocks

school of fish, fish, nature

You’ve been diving in the same place for a while now.

With time, you’ve collected the prettiest of all the rocks. You keep them underwater because you don’t like how they look above the surface.

Your rock pile.

Each day, when you submerge, you notice (and have come… Read more...

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I Conquered My Dreams

selective focus photography of boy wearing black Batman cape

I’m the hero of my dreams.

I’m talking about anxiety dreams, the ones we all have and talk about in the waking world. You know the ones…

The naked-in-public dream: I beat that one by giving up the search for clothes and just being naked. Fuck it. I even started to… Read more...

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Tough Decisions

Photo of pathway surrounded by fir trees

My daughter is picking her high school – 2 good options – and she’s tormented by it.

We all are.

I’ve made a career out of helping people make decisions. I know the exercises, I have the tactics, the methods, the rubrics.

That doesn’t make the actual de… Read more...

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The Elements of Happiness

Pug in a blanket

The Elements of Happiness are obvious.

We all know what they are:
healthy food, rest, exercise, sobriety, nature, connection, work, love, fun, self-expression.

We have the map. If we just charge after these things and do them often, we have a greater chance of being Happy. It’… Read more...

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My Anxiety

It took a while, but it came.

I thought I was immune, but no one is.

There is a tree with thick, knuckly roots driving into the soft green earth. Its branches do all sorts of interesting things: hold nests and tire swings, block the hot sun, reach into other trees, click against on… Read more...

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The House

maroon brick surface

A white man looked out his window and saw a black woman in her yard, pulling her house apart. He noticed her doing this every day, sometimes just a single brick took all afternoon. She was using a spoon.

He couldn’t stay away for very long.

“Why are you destroying your … Read more...

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